The warmth of female friendships

“Deep, abiding friendships are the place where many women know lasting love” – Bell Hooks

Catch up with friends

At the beginning of a blustery September, my high school friends came out of hibernation to celebrate one of my best friends being accepted onto her dream masters programme. She had worked so hard, even when it threatened to collapse underneath her. Her uni friends also traipsed from the East to join us all at a low-key bar along the tired strip of our hometown. There were mini skirts, cocktails and discussions about UTIs. One girl suggested killing two birds with one stone by drinking a vodka cranberry: the juice for the infection and the vodka to get drunk. The slightly ageing population of our hometown was abruptly drowned out by our giggles and laugher. We only really ever paid attention to anyone outside of our group when we went up in drags to get another drink.

My group of friends were eclectic to say the least. There were musicians, artists, writers, historians, archaeologists. We all put equal amounts of love into our work as we did into each other. We all bought each other’s art, attended each other’s performances. September felt like we were in limbo. We were scavenging for full time-jobs, begrudging moving back in with eager and nosey parents. Some were even coming out of life altering romantic relationships and heartbreaks , wounds that would eventually heal, but only after they scabbed over. Hell, I’m sure some of us were dealing with things that would give nightmares a run for their money.

Lost friends

I have lost a lot of friends, and it has been a painfully difficult experience. Losing friendships is never easy, and it often leaves a void in our hearts. Some of these partings have been particularly excruciating. They were accompanied by betrayal, backstabbing, and being left out in the cold. It’s a devastating feeling when someone you once trusted turns their back on you.

However, amidst the heartbreak, I take solace in the incredible bond I share with some remarkable women in my life. These women have proven time and time again that distance is no obstacle when it comes to their unwavering support. Even if they are thousands of miles away, they are ready to stand by my side, fighting my corner with fierce loyalty.

Having such incredible allies who defend me, nurture my wounds, and remind me of my worth is a true blessing. Their love and care have helped me heal and grow stronger. I am forever grateful for their presence in my life.

The moral of the story

Friendship is a precious treasure, and although losing friends can be painful, it also opens up room for new connections and deeper bonds. It serves as a reminder that true friendship transcends geographical boundaries and withstands the test of time.

I may have experienced loss and betrayal, but the unwavering love and support from the strong women in my life have brought me solace and taught me the true meaning of friendship. Their presence fills my life with warmth, and their support is a constant reminder that I am cherished and loved.

On this cold September evening, love permeates around our long bar table. I wince my face when I lick the salt from the rim of my margarita. I may have never known long-lasting love, but like Bell Hooks points out, I do have my deep abiding friendships and somehow I know that will be more than just fine.